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  Copyright 2002-08   DoggerelPundit
  All Rights Reserved

   Thursday, April 24, 2003


Yes, Virginia, there are idiotarians. Arriving somewhat late to stop the latest conflict, What The World Needs Is A Peace Garden appeared in the Kansas City Star online, authored by the suspiciously named Sheila Sonnenschein.

“…I think that if presidents, dictators, kings, queens and prime ministers took a course in gardening, maybe they wouldn't have thoughts of war or amassing weapons that destroy life and our environment.

…maybe after this course leaders who keep food from their starving people would turn around and help their nation grow food so that millions won't go hungry.”


Growing Pains

Gardening! Gardening! Garden for peace!
Set up a plot, get a fifty year lease!
Gardens for peace are a charming solution
(When seeking some manner of moral ablution)

Gardening! Gardening! Garden for peace!
Here's a new wrinkle—all fighting will cease.
Our national leaders must all come together,
Together to garden, whatever the weather.

A simple idea—they'll dig in the ground
They’re equal; all leaders and heads that are crowned.
All digging and planting, together all tilling
Not thinking of war, not thinking of killing.

Imagine the Cold War incredibly brief,
With East Europeans relaxed in relief
To see Nikky Khrushchev with garden components
Out burying bulbs instead of opponents.

The lushest of gardens we missed by a hair,
If only the warmongers could have been there.
Those national killers at gardening labors
Instead of invading their peaceable neighbors.

The Kaiser, and Hitler—they dug up the ground,
Spread forests of organic matter around.
And Stalin cleared land in the sunny Ukraine
For his super collectivist garden campaign.

Amending the soil’s a particular need
Before one can contemplate spreading out seed.
If ‘Ph’ is high, little seedlings will suffer—
Herr Himmler sends ashes, the soil to buffer.

And blood meal helps give a nitrogen lift,
Old Idi Amin could ship tons as a gift.
Pol Pot or Mugabe have bone meal varied,
Dug up from the acres of bodies they buried.

Gardening! Gardening! “Garden for peace”
Peace for the innocent millions deceased.
Gardens for peace, such a charming solution
(When seeking some manner of moral ablution)

Link via Opinion Journal

   posted by Stephen at 10:44 AM | Plink

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