Rose By Many Other Names Is Still A Treat

This problem has bothered me for years. Quick, what was Eleanor Roosevelt's mother's maiden name?

Here's to Joanne!

Weep with us now for poor Mary O'Leary-
O'Dell-Hammond-Hargraves-Armbruster-Bevàn,
A victim of Seventies sur-naming theory
(The hyphening one), and her daughter Joanne.

The Feminist Movement decided this notion
Was surely the tonic to raise self esteem.
Invoking progenitor names is the potion,
And surely the faultiest sur-naming scheme.

(To cite an example; they can't get a license,
A 401k or SS supplementary,
Or make application for credit card buys since
All database fields have their limits on entry).

Now, boosting self-worth with a moniker weary?
Nay, let her be known! Let her live with élan!
Not fake self-esteem from a tag like O'Leary-
O'Dell-Hammond-Hargraves-Armbruster-Bevàn.

Of all the solutions since offered by Sages,
The best for a daughter? Mom's name only showing,
So millions of women live down through the ages
Their whole matrilineal history knowing.

Joanne is a seeker of character flawless,
To raise up her life, stand alone, and she can;
Not caring of names, she's engaged to young Wallace,
Smith-Hollis-Gomez y Gonzalez—oy, man.

When wedding bells ring our conventions will call us
In toasting her day with raised glasses in hand:
"Ms. Wallace Smith-Hollis-Gomez y Gonzales
O'Leary-O'—hell with it! Here's to Joanne!!"

   posted by Stephen at 7:50 AM | Plink