Wednesday, April 16, 2003
And that's no Bul Bul Dept.
Unless you are—or were—a listener of Dr. Demento, you may not have ever heard Frank Crumit’s recording of *Abdulla Bul Bul Ameer, a tale of the battlefield.
Well, there’s now another notorious Arab whose name has a similarly rhythmic ring.
A very gracious hat-tip to these folks who fired the inspiration…
Mohammed Saeed Al Shahaf
The thugs of Saddam their press conferences held
In the Country where sits An Najaf.
And the weirdest of these was a man by the name
Of Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
If you want all their stomachs to go roast in hell
Or the throats of the foe cut in half,
Or a message of how “we will slaughter them all.”
Hear Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
This son of the desert at lectern aroused
Could spit through the Press with his laugh.
A terrible creature in “grunts” and beret
Was Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
Defense men are plenty, and well known to fame,
For the Army that’s run from Qatar.
But the brashest of these is a man by the name
Of Rumsfeld, the DOD czar.
He can lay out position, field questions all day
And be real, without striving for “star.”
In fact he does seem quite the DOD’s dream
Is Rumsfeld, the DOD czar.
One day then did Rummy step up to the mikes
“Baghdad may be next says the staff”
But he reckoned without the bold claiming of doubt
By Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
"Young man, said Shahaf, that prediction you’ll rue
For a spokesman your mouth’s full of gaffe.
We’ll cut out their tongues and then pelt them with shoes.”
Said Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
"They’ll take their last look then at sunshine and brook
O miserable Rumsfeld, you kaf ’
There’s a poison-filled cup, and their rear is blocked up"
Said Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
Said Rumsfeld “my friend you might look hard again,
Surrounding Baghdad, our tanks are.
They’re awaiting Franks’ orders to go and roll in.”
Quoth Rumsfeld, the DOD czar.
So that bellicose Minister screwed up his lip
“Be assured, Baghdad’s safe from riff-raff.
They’ll suicide under the walls—get a grip.”
Said Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
But Rummy gives back just as good as he gets
(As the Press can attest from their scars).
All those Tikriti clans will be wiped by the plans
Of Rumsfeld, the DOD czar.
“Surrounding and pounding, the whole trend has changed
You’re illusion, at which we all laugh.
We’re catching cruise missiles like fish in a net.”
Said Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
“The snake is in pieces, beheading you all,
When surrounded you’ll scatter like chaff.
Those ‘villainous louts’ we’ll continue to rout.”
Quoth Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
But Baghdad has fallen, Kirkuk is now ours,
The Guard just could not stand the gaff.
And where is he now? We ain’t seen him for hours,
Old Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
At the press conference daily the questions are asked
Where the leaders of Ba’ath party are.
To take each one prisoner the soldiers are tasked,
Says Rumsfeld, the DOD czar.
Some scatter abroad, some fight on for their hope,
Holding out on old Saddam’s behalf.
There’s a rumor that stretched at the end of a rope
Is Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
The Press and the Bloggers a tight vigil keep
For a glimpse of this Minister daft.
And the name that they mention; that laughable creep,
Mohammed Saeed al Shahaf.
* "This song was written in 1877 by Percy French at Trinity College for a
college concert. His original title was Abdulla Bulbul Ameer. He sold it
to a publisher for five pounds. It was published without credit to him
and he never received royalties for its later success. Many sources
still list the author as anonymous.
This tune is also known as The Ballade of Ivan Petrofsky Skevar, for
which there are a few variations in the lyrics."
-- Lesley Nelson, www.contemplator.com
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